Phil Hartman

as Phil Fimple

as The President

as Ted Maltin

as MAJ Colin Thorn

as Gary Young

as Frank

as Tom Morgan (voice)

as Virgil Robinson

as Marlax

as Ranger John "Vicky" Johnson

as Hal Edison

as Bly Manager

as Bennedict, SAT Coach

as Ted Davis

as Air Conditioner / Hanging Lamp (voice)

as Fred

as Sam

Writer

as Reporter

as Monique's Assistant

as Calaboose Cal (voice)

as George Wilson