Two and a Half Men

TV-14

2003–2015·Ended·12 Seasons·262 Episodes·25 min·CBS·Thursday · 21:00

Studio: Chuck Lorre Productions, The Tannenbaum Company, Warner Bros. Television

TMDb7.5

Available on

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🇺🇸

USA

English · USA

USA

Comedy

Overview

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Trailer

Cast

More like this

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

2005

Dream On

1990

Keywords

sibling relationshipcaliforniacomposerroommatesevil mothermalibuadvertisingdrinkingbeach housecasual sexsitcomliving with siblingrich brother

Seasons

Specials41 episodes

Original Pilot - Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal

0.0es683855

Jake's a Regular Kid

0.0es683856

Jennifer Taylor on Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer Marriage Problems

0.5es683857

Jon Cryer wins an Emmy for Two and a Half Men at the 2009 Primetime Emmy Awards

Getting Charlie Sheen

0.0es683861

Jennifer Taylor

0.0es683862

Jon's Advice to Charlie

Two and a Half Men and CSI - Behind the Scenes Cross Over

0.0es683866

Two and a Half Men and CSI - Behind the Scenes Cross Over 2

Two and a Half Men - In the Beginning

0.0es683880

Two Men Talking About Two and a Half Men

14m0.0es683881

The 100th episode of Two and a Half Men

0.0es683882

"Must Pause TV" - The story of Chuck Lorre

0.0es683883

Two and a Half Men: Dying Is Easy, Comedy Is Hard

0.0es683884

CSI-Episode: Two and a Half Deaths

0.0es683885

Growing up Harper

0.0es683886

The Women of Two and a Half Men

0.0es683887

Charlie's EX Reunion

0.0es683888

Two and a Half Men Version 2.0

0.0es683889

The Billionaire Upgrade: How Walden Schmidt redesigned the house in Malibu

0.0es683890

Two Manly Men - Singing and Dancing

0.0es683891

Backstage Tour with Angus T. Jones

2007-01-01

8m0.0es683892

Two Adults, One Kid, No Grown-ups

2007-01-01

28m0.0es683893

The Serious Business of Writing Comedy

2008-01-01

11m0.0es683894

A Day in the Life of Two and a Half Men

2008-01-01

16m0.0es683895

Season 124 episodes

2003

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

2003-10-06

21m7.3es683898

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

2003-10-13

21m7.5es683899

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

2003-10-20

19m7.3es683900

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

2003-10-27

21m6.8es683901

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

2003-11-03

21m7.8es683902

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2003-12-15

20m6.9es683906

Camel Filters and Pheromones

I Can't Afford Hyenas

2004-02-02

21m6.8es683909

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

2004-02-09

21m6.9es683910

That Was Saliva, Alan

2004-02-16

21m7.0es683911

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

2004-02-23

20m7.3es683912

An Old Flame with a New Wick

2004-03-01

21m7.1es683913

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

2004-03-22

19m7.2es683914

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

2004-04-19

21m6.9es683915

No Sniffing, No Wowing

2004-05-03

21m6.9es683916

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Can You Feel My Finger?

2004-05-24

21m7.0es683919

Season 224 episodes

2004

Back Off, Mary Poppins

2004-09-20

30m7.5es683920

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

Bad News from the Clinic?

2004-10-18

21m6.6es683924

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

2004-10-25

21m7.3es683925

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

2004-11-08

21m6.5es683926

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

The Salmon Under My Sweater

2004-11-29

21m6.8es683929

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)

2005-01-17

20m7.4es683932

Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

2005-01-31

21m6.8es683933

Smell the Umbrella Stand

2005-02-07

21m7.3es683934

Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

2005-02-14

21m7.8es683935

Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

2005-03-21

21m7.2es683938

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

2005-04-18

21m7.3es683939

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

2005-05-02

21m7.2es683940

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

2005-05-09

21m6.9es683941

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

2005-05-16

20m7.4es683942

Does This Smell Funny to You?

2005-05-23

20m6.3es683943

Season 324 episodes

2005

Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

2005-09-19

22m7.3es683944

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

2005-09-26

22m6.6es683945

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

2005-10-03

22m7.2es683946

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

2005-10-10

22m7.2es683947

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

2005-11-07

22m7.0es683950

That Voodoo That I Do Do

2005-11-14

21m7.5es683951

Madame and Her Special Friend

2005-11-21

21m6.7es683952

Something Salted and Twisted

2005-11-28

22m6.9es683953

Santa's Village of the Damned

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

2006-01-23

22m7.2es683956

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

2006-03-13

21m7.1es683960

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

2006-03-20

21m7.2es683961

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

2006-04-10

22m7.6es683962

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

2006-04-24

21m7.7es683963

And the Plot Moistens

2006-05-01

21m7.2es683964

Just Once with Aunt Sophie

2006-05-08

22m7.4es683965

Arguments for the Quickie

2006-05-15

22m7.2es683966

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

2006-05-22

21m7.4es683967

Season 424 episodes

2006

Working for Caligula

2006-09-18

22m6.1es683968

Who Is This Vod Kanockers?

2006-09-25

22m7.2es683969

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

2006-10-16

21m7.3es683972

Apologies for the Frivolity

2006-10-23

20m7.6es683973

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

Castrating Sheep in Montana

2007-01-08

21m6.5es683979

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

2007-01-22

21m6.7es683980

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Young People Have Phlegm Too

2007-02-19

21m7.2es683983

I Merely Slept with a Commie

2007-02-26

22m5.6es683984

It Never Rains in Hooterville

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

2007-04-16

21m7.2es683987

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

2007-05-07

21m7.4es683990

Prostitutes and Gelato

2007-05-14

20m6.5es683991

Season 519 episodes

2007

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

2007-09-24

20m7.7es683992

Media Room Slash Dungeon

2007-10-01

22m6.3es683993

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

2007-10-22

22m7.6es683996

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

2007-10-29

21m7.3es683997

The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

2007-11-05

20m7.4es683998

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

2007-11-12

20m8.0es683999

Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids

2007-11-19

20m7.8es684000

Kinda Like Necrophilia

2007-11-26

22m7.8es684001

Meander to Your Dander

2008-03-17

22m7.9es684002

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Rough Night in Hump Junction

2008-04-21

21m7.9es684006

Look at Me Mommy, I'm Pretty

If My Hole Could Talk

2008-05-12

21m7.2es684009

Waiting for the Right Snapper

2008-05-19

22m7.5es684010

Season 624 episodes

2008

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

2008-10-06

22m6.5es684013

The Flavin' and the Mavin'

It's Always Nazi Week

2008-11-03

22m7.4es684016

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

Thank God for Scoliosis

2009-01-12

20m7.8es684022

I Think You Offended Don

2009-01-19

22m7.6es684023

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

2009-02-02

21m7.4es684024

I'd Like to Start with the Cat

2009-02-09

21m7.5es684025

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

2009-03-02

20m7.8es684026

The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?

2009-03-09

20m7.5es684027

My Son's Enormous Head

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

2009-04-13

22m7.6es684030

Above Exalted Cyclops

2009-04-27

21m7.7es684031

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

2009-05-04

20m7.3es684032

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

2009-05-11

20m7.0es684033

Baseball Was Better with Steroids

2009-05-18

21m7.8es684034

Season 722 episodes

2009

818-JKLPUZO

2009-09-21

21m7.5es684035

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

2009-10-12

20m7.3es684038

For the Sake of the Child

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

2009-11-16

20m6.7es684042

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

2009-11-23

21m7.5es684043

That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Crude and Uncalled For

2010-02-01

21m7.2es684048

Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

2010-02-08

22m6.1es684049

Tinkle Like a Princess

2010-03-01

21m6.1es684050

I Found Your Moustache

2010-03-08

21m5.9es684051

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

2010-03-22

21m6.6es684052

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

This Is Not Gonna End Well

2010-05-24

21m6.2es684056

Season 816 episodes

2010

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

2010-09-20

21m7.8es684057

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

2010-09-27

21m7.5es684058

A Pudding-Filled Cactus

2010-10-04

21m6.6es684059

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

2010-10-11

21m6.4es684060

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

2010-10-18

21m7.5es684061

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

2010-10-25

21m6.8es684062

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

2010-11-01

19m7.5es684063

Springtime on a Stick

2010-11-08

21m7.4es684064

A Good Time in Central Africa

Dead from the Waist Down

2010-12-06

21m7.2es684067

Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

2010-12-13

21m6.8es684068

Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

2011-01-03

21m7.2es684069

Lookin' for Japanese Subs

2011-01-17

21m6.1es684070

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

Season 924 episodes

2011

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

2011-09-19

21m4.8es684073

People Who Love Peepholes

2011-09-26

21m5.2es684074

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

2011-10-31

19m5.3es684079

Thank You for the Intercourse

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

2011-11-21

21m5.3es684082

What a Lovely Landing Strip

2011-12-05

20m5.5es684083

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

2011-12-12

21m5.0es684084

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

2012-02-06

21m5.3es684087

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

The War Against Gingivitis

The Straw in My Donut Hole

Season 1023 episodes

2012

I Changed My Mind About the Milk

Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

2012-10-11

21m5.4es684099

You Do Know What the Lollipop's For

2012-10-18

21m6.1es684100

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

Avoid the Chinese Mustard

2012-11-08

21m5.3es684103

Something My Gynecologist Said

Give Santa a Tail-Hole

Grab a Feather and Get in Line

2013-01-10

21m4.3es684109

Run, Steven Staven! Run!

2013-01-31

21m6.0es684110

Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

2013-02-07

21m5.9es684111

Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

2013-02-14

21m5.8es684112

Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

2013-02-21

21m6.1es684113

The 9:04 from Pemberton

2013-03-07

21m5.7es684114

Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

2013-03-14

21m5.4es684115

Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

2013-04-04

21m5.2es684116

Another Night with Neil Diamond

Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

2013-05-09

22m5.6es684119

Season 1122 episodes

2013

Nangnangnangnang

2013-09-26

21m5.8es684120

I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

2013-10-03

21m5.0es684121

This Unblessed Biscuit

2013-10-10

22m5.8es684122

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

2013-10-17

21m5.3es684123

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

2013-10-24

21m5.3es684124

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

2013-11-07

21m5.3es684125

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

2013-11-14

21m6.1es684126

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.

2013-11-21

21m5.5es684127

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

2013-12-05

21m5.1es684128

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

2013-12-12

21m5.1es684129

Tazed in the Lady Nuts

2014-01-02

21m5.2es684130

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

2014-01-09

21m5.8es684131

Bite Me, Supreme Court

2014-01-30

21m4.8es684132

Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe

2014-02-06

21m4.7es684133

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

2014-02-27

21m5.8es684134

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

2014-04-10

22m6.5es684138

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

2014-05-08

21m5.4es684141

Season 1216 episodes

2014

The Ol' Mexican Spinach

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

Alan Shot a Little Girl

2014-12-04

21m5.5es684147

Sex with an Animated Ed Asner

2014-12-11

21m5.1es684148

Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey

2014-12-18

21m5.5es684149

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

For Whom the Booty Calls

2015-01-22

21m5.0es684152

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

2015-01-29

21m5.3es684153

Boompa Loved His Hookers

2015-02-05

21m5.1es684154

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

2015-02-12

21m5.4es684155

Of Course He's Dead (1)

2015-02-19

18m4.2es684156

Of Course He's Dead (2)

2015-02-19

21m4.8es684157

Added: 5/14/2026Updated: 6/3/2026